There is a big step from engaged to married. It’s not just about exchanging rings and wedding vows, it’s about trading one lifestyle for another. Even as a boyfriend, you had a certain independence, which meant you had a space of your own. There was a part of your day or night where you were your person. In a marriage, this more or less completely disappears.
No matter how much freedom you have in your marriage, how flexible the boundaries are, you still need to remember that there is now someone else who you must keep 100% in your life cycle! If you are going to be late for work, you need to make sure your husband or wife knows about it. If you’re not home for dinner, they should know. If you won’t be able to dry clean on the way home and it’s needed for the next day, you need to know so you can go get it! This is a huge life change. At first you feel like you’ve come back to answer your parents! You may even rebel against the idea. But think about it for a moment. Your spouse always walks through the door at 6.52 pm – take or give 4 minutes. You have dinner waiting on the table. At 7:20 p.m. dinner is cold and they haven’t arrived yet. 8:25 pm when they walk in the door, you are in the middle of dialing the local hospital number because you are sure something has happened to them. They smile and apologize for the delay, but got caught up in a last minute meeting. Without thinking about the anguish you felt when imagining them hurt or worse! You don’t want to be what you feel this way, so make sure you don’t do the same to your loved one! Introducing your partner to your program is a sign of consideration. Recognize that this other person cares about you and that they will care if you are not where you said you would be at the time you said you would be.
Gone are the days when you could say “Sure, I’m going for pizza tonight!” to co-workers without even thinking about it. First of all, you need to call your partner and tell them that this is what you are planning and make sure it is okay. Yes, I know, it’s a shame they aren’t, but they may have made other plans for the night that you don’t know about, so it’s worth checking out first!
Consideration for your new husband or wife is the first and most important aspect of your marriage in the early days because it is also the most difficult to regulate. Is your music too loud? Does your partner want to watch a different channel? Do you take all the blankets to bed? Russians? You don’t control these things because you take advantage of them, or as a couple you normally complain about, but you do them because you want your marriage to be a partnership with two equal partners. If you argue about something, find a common middle ground. There should be no power struggle if both parties respect each other enough to accept that both people have the right to have different points of view. Don’t back down from confrontation, don’t push your lead forward, be respectful to each other, and negotiate a situation that you can both agree on.
In the first weeks and months of marriage, you will find many new things and sometimes not exactly how you thought they would be, but if both parties add consideration to their menu of love, trust and respect, married life will soon work itself out and you will get used to it. . do things without resentment or obligation. You will do them because you want them too.